Why I Would Make A Great Ex-Con

You'd think I was running from the law or something.  In the span of six months, I changed my name, got a tattoo, left my school, and moved 3,000 miles away to begin at a new school.

Part of that was coincidence, but there's another side to it, I think.  Teenagers are supposed to grow and change and experiment with their hair colors and I never really did.  It's not like I wasn't allowed to, I just didn't allow myself.  I wanted people to think I was authentic and consistent; actually I was kind of obsessed with it.  I thought people who allowed themselves to change were wishy-washy and immature.  Most likely, I was trying to appeal to adults by having an "ugh, teenagers are so stupid" vibe going on.  I thought this meant I was much more mature than my peers.  I was really proud of weird things like the fact that I didn't dye my hair or wear makeup.  I made fun of people who did "mainstream" things like the duckface pose or taking artsy photos.

And you know what? I'd like to apologize for that.  Particularly around the ages of 13-16 my distaste for appearing inconsistent bled into how I treated my peers who weren't afraid to grow and change.  I know a lot of people I went to high school with are reading this, so this is for you.  Sorry for being kind of a dick. You do you, boo.

Anyway my theory is that since I didn't allow myself to do any "experimenting" during the time most people do it, it's all coming out now.  I'm not gonna do anything crazy, but I'm also not going to act like I don't like something everybody else does just to seem intellectual.

If you're a teenager, be a teenager.  If you want to dye your hair a crazy color, go for it.  Even if you end up hating it it's okay because it'll grow out and you're 14 and nobody expects you to be consistent.  And that's not insulting, it's liberating.  Listen to the music you like because it does not determine how smart you are.  Wear makeup of you want, it doesn't make you "fake".  And most importantly, if you see other people trying  to figure out who they are (and aren't hurting themselves or others in the process) don't try to stop them or make fun of them.  It doesn't make you "mature", it just makes you look like a tool.

So why do I say I am exhibiting behaviors akin to those of an ex convict?  Allow me to demonstrate with a very scientific chart:

The red circle is people hiding from the government.  The blue circle is people who have changed their name, appearance, and location in a short period of time.

Since I'm sure the government is reading this anyway, I just want them to know I have nothing to hide. 😬